Every married person or at least, ‘about-to-be-married person knows; to be faithful, stay truthful and
be there for her partner through good times and bad— are one of the basic rules of marriage. However, most seasoned couples would admit that some unspoken marriage rules are vital for getting past rough patches and growing stronger as a couple.
Below are some of the rules below!
1. Never criticize your partner’s parents, relatives or close friends:
You know how it is—your family can piss you off but no one else should dare speak ill of them. That’s why you should tread carefully with your in-laws and your partner’s dearest friends. Even when they’re complaining to you, your contributions can put him on the defensive, or not. It’s always safe to be on neutral grounds.
2. Don’t try to take charge all the time:
Don’t always try to play the role of ‘the boss’ in the relationship. Try something like, “What do you think works best here?”or telling him/her, “I could use a hand cleaning out the pantry.” These kinda questions and/or requests will foster the idea that you guys are a team.
3. Don’t bring up past arguments
Or at least put a statute of limitations on them. People repeat ancient disagreements because they haven’t resolved the problem. Bring up dead and forgotten arguments often causes marriages to break down. It’s important to address issues as they happen and come to some sort of a resolution—agreeing to disagree counts. Leave it there, and respect each other’s opinion.
4. Don’t post private stuffs of you both, or at least not; online/publicly:
You may not want to be tagged in a politically charged rant he starts or he may not want you to share photos of the kids. And you each deserve the other person’s respect for those wishes. “Discuss the ground rules regarding posting about yourself, as a couple and about the other person. And most especially, no matter what, don’t take your grievances with your husband/wife to the masses for support. It’s destructive to air conflicts on Facebook.
5. Your partner needs that attention, offer him/her some:
When your attention is focused elsewhere, your spouse is bound to feel unimportant. Ask yourself this basic question: How much time am I spending doing this compared to how much time I’m spending with my family?
Create a rule that works for your household and stick to it, whether it’s no devices at the dinner table, shutting down phones at 8 p.m. or going gadget-free on weekend afternoons. Which ever works best for you guys, stick to it!
6. Tell your spouse about any recent encounter with an ‘Ex’:
Whether you get a Facebook friend request or bumping into each other at the mall or otherwise — which ever the case may be, keeping the news to yourself can backfire, even when you’ve zero feelings to the said ex. If there’s nothing to hide, without the information? This can be considered as being dishonest or being secretive.
However, in cases where you might find it a little difficult to spill out the information, try patterns like: “I knew it was only a matter of time before old boyfriends came out of the woodwork on Facebook. I got a friend request from one and ignored it.” Or, “I saw my ex in the mall today. His kids are cute. Glad to see his life turned out nicely.”
7. Never threaten to leave or divorce your partner amid any argument:
Even in the heat of an argument, avoid threatening to pack your bags or head to the lawyer’s office.You have not every right to say or whatever you want or feel like doing whenever you’re angry.
Threatening divorce is never useful, it only makes the probability of separation more likely
8. Finally, be each other’s Number 1:
In other words, be wary of outsider influence, like a friend putting relationship-threatening ideas in your head or work or hobbies competing for your attention. Happy couples have just as much conflict as those who divorce, but they know ways to get through it. A couple has to have a strong boundary around themselves and they can’t allow anybody to get in between.