Yes, I said it. Masturbation. It’s one of those things most of us rarely talk about publicly but most of us have done or continue to do privately. Exploring our sexuality is a normal part of our development, and masturbation is a typical part of this journey.
If masturbation is so common, why is it so hard to talk about? If it is a normal part of sexual development, how come we can’t talk about it openly with our friends and family?
There are perhaps as many answers to this question as there are people on earth, but the simple answer is this: masturbation is typically a solitary behavior. Many people learn to masturbate when they are at an awkward, insecure phase of development.
It’s a beautiful day, let’s masturbate. It’s a cold night, let’s fap.,It’s a hot afternoon, let me choke my banana. It doesn’t matter what day or time it is, you masturbate, then obviously you need help. You’re apparently hopeless about masturbation. Here are a few more tell tale signs of it.
1. It’s interfering with your relationship:
Are you single and use masturbation as a way of avoiding intimacy or putting yourself out there romantically? Are you married or in a committed relationship and find masturbation preferable to engaging your partner for sex? Have your partners expressed concern about your masturbation habits?
For some, it can feel far less threatening to turn to masturbation rather than intimacy, fears of rejection or abandonment, and connection. If used in this way, masturbation can sidetrack relational intimacy.
2. You masturbate to the point of self injury or physical pain:
There is no magical number of times in a week or amount of time masturbating that is optimal, but if you masturbate to the point where you are harming yourself, chances are you are doing it compulsively.
3. You feel the need to do it over and over again, even though you just did it:
If you simply need a physiological release, once should suffice. If you masturbate three, four or ten times successively this will most likely indicate that you are using masturbation to medicate emotions or escape. This should be a clue to check in with yourself and see how you’re using masturbation.
4. You don’t even need porn to do it anymore:
Yes! What do you need porn for? When you have your hand and your ‘chicken’! Your imagination is more than enough for you.
5. You’ve to do it multiple times a day:
You prefer to masturbate 4-5 times a day rather than enjoying one powerful orgasm every once in a while during sex.
6. It impacts negatively on how you feel about yourself:
When you masturbate, are you more in touch with your body, your sensations, and your spirituality, or do you feel more numb, lonely, and spiritually disconnected? If you feel less connected after masturbating, you might want to take a look at what role masturbation is playing for you.
7. You skip work, take a quick break, miss important meeting just to masturbate:
Because nothing is as important as masturbating, anytime, anywhere. Even regular sex isn’t as satisfying as masturbation.
8. When you start losing hair:
Excessive masturbation can lead to hair loss. Beware!
If you experience all or most of these, then it’s time to stop.
If you identified with one or more of these warning signs, I would encourage you to reflect on your use of masturbation and what it means to you. If you have a safe person who you can trust, talk to them about it.
If you feel like you might be masturbating compulsively, it’s really important to talk to a professional who can help. Addictive behaviors don’t get better on their own, so talk to someone who has been properly trained to deal with sex addiction or compulsive sexual behaviors.